And Then There Are the Taxes... (Why Did I Even Look This Up?)

Okay, so I made the mistake of googling "American taxes in Spain" and now I'm spiraling a little. I got buried in the detail, but managed to dig my way out. It’s not as bad as I feared. Mostly.

The 183-day thing. If you're in Spain for more than 183 days in a year, boom—you're a Spanish tax resident. Which sounds scary until you realize... isn't that kind of the point? I mean, if I'm retiring there, I'm planning to be there more than half the year anyway. Though now I'm wondering if I should keep track of days like some kind of international flight attendant.

The double taxation nightmare that isn't actually a nightmare. The thing that made my stomach drop was reading that you have to file in BOTH countries. Total bureaucratic nightmare, right? But it turns out there's a treaty, so whatever you pay in Spain gets credited against what you owe the U.S. So you're not actually paying twice. Though filing twice? That still sounds like a special kind of torture.

What you'll actually pay. The rates in Spain go from about 19% up to 47%, and when I did the math, that's not a world away from what I'm paying now with state taxes and everything else. Plus there's this Alternative Minimum Tax thing that might apply, but I couldn't figure out exactly when. Note to self: definitely need an accountant for this.

The one bright spot. This part actually made me smile—Spain gives you bigger tax deductions as you get older. Like, they're basically saying "Hey, you're 65 now, here's a tax break!" And it gets even better at 75. Finally, a country that rewards aging instead of just making everything more expensive.

All the other fun stuff. Property taxes if you buy (obviously), capital gains if you sell anything, and this weird "Plusvalía" tax when you sell property that I don't understand at all. Also, Spanish taxes are due around June, which is actually kind of nice—gives you time to recover from filing your U.S. taxes in April.

Look, the whole tax thing is a mess, I'm not gonna lie. But everyone I've talked to online swears that after the first year, it’s not that bad.

Though I'm definitely hiring a tax professional. Some things are worth paying for, and my sanity is one of them.